Snag...

I've been studying theology of community lately and in conjunction have been spending lots of time personally in the Word recently, trying to mold, cajole, chisel and otherwise re-make my heart into that of a true minister. But I've also tried to read in order to grow intellectually, so I dove into N.T. Wright's The Challenge of Jesus. And I hit a snag. I've heard a lot of great stuff about this book, but the first third of it failed to rock my world. Suddenly, out of nowhere came a paragraph that nearly caused me to immediately resign from my job and go apply at Burger King (the only other thing I'm qualified to do, I think). This may not sound like a big deal to you, in fact this may sound like delirious ramblings...but I dropped the book and spent the rest of the day deep in thought.

Here goes: Wright makes a statement to the effect of: "People will put up with all kinds of theological weirdness...but start messing with their symbols, and watch out." He argues that the 1st-century Jewish system of religion was more about maintaining cultural and national identity through symbols of religion rather than being about a vibrant, life-changing, culture-impacting faith through relationship with the Creator. Those symbols were familiar things like Sabbath, Torah, the temple, feasts, purity rituals, etc. These things were meant to be beautiful expressions of faith that served to connect God’s people with God himself. But by the first century they had become less…they had become symbols of God’s people-in-waiting, waiting for the coming of their “Messiah” who would overthrow their Roman oppressors and restore them to their rightful place as world super-powers and rulers over the heathens who had exploited them for so long. So those once-holy means of connecting with God had been turned into symbols…symbols of pride, symbols of greed, symbols of coveting earthly power. Jesus came not to desecrate those holy things, but to tear down their earthly understanding of them. And that’s why he died…not because he offended some Jewish legalists with his grace and mercy…but because he attacked their mistaken symbols of faith, and they felt that their entire identity as Jews was under attack. They saw Jesus as someone who was trying to take away what they thought made them Jewish (when their obedience to and love for him should have been their identity)…they thought he would make them less Jewish.

And therein we learn the risk of messing with peoples’ symbols of faith. And yet I feel very strongly that the church has deified our symbols nearly as much as the ancient Jews did. I think it’s why we struggle so mightily for change, but change almost always caused strife and discord, and usually broken fellowship.

And that is why I’m tempted to give up…at least give up my striving within the established (i.e. “institutional”) church. You see, I’ve always struggled somewhat as a minister…I’ve never quite fit in. I’m usually labeled as something of a “progressive” or “liberal” voice (which one you use depends on whether you like me or not). But the thing is, it’s not because of my theology. I’m really pretty mainstream, not too out there, not too threatening. Scripture is incredibly important to me, as is the church. The reason I don’t fit in is my methodology. I don’t care for church buildings, pulpits, potlucks, administrative tasks, obligatory worship, or consumer spirituality (to make a VERY abbreviated list). Most of the ways of “doing” church that I see everyday and have seen for years I feel are inappropriate and counter-productive. If I was in charge of a faith community, things would look RADICALLY different. Yet those things I would change without a second thought are symbols to most people within the established church. Many people would literally feel less Christian without a church building to store their faith in. When I challenge people to do things differently, I’m challenging their methodology, not theology, yet it still often angers them. They’ve become attached to symbols…not Jesus.

And so I feel doomed to be an oddball, a thorn in the side of people who just want to keep things the same. I guess I had envisioned a time when ministry would be comfortable and I could lead happy, satisfied, spiritual people in reaching out to the community…but that illusion has been shattered. I see now that if I continue working for established churches, it will likely involve constant discomfort, tension, and disagreement, because I feel called to challenge those symbols…but maybe that is my calling…not comfort.